| Action | Portal |
| Target | flOw |
| Adventure | Fallout 3 |
| Tactics | Minecraft |
I decided to do something special for Christmas 2009 and bought both sets of Valve's Left 4 Dead Holiday Cards. After filling them out for family and friends, I still had a bunch left over (there were a lot of cards), so I started filling out cards for things that don't fall under "family and friends", like Giant Bomb and Valve. Yes, I sent a Left 4 Dead themed Christmas card to Valve. This one, in fact:
I even drew a picture on the left side. What's on the right is none of your business! Not that it's anything personal - I just believe a message in a Christmas card should only be read by those it was sent to.
To my surprise, I received this envelope shortly after. Apparently they got my card:
So, what was inside? Why, Left 4 Dead bumper stickers, of course! The fact that they sent something back in return is pretty awesome:
Soon. Soon everyone will know your face.
Here's what I sent to Giant Bomb, back when they were in Sausalito!:
I picked this one specifically because it had Bill on it.
Deep.
Man, Christmas 2011 needs to hurry the hell up! I hope it gets cold in this part of North Carolina. If only Jack in the Box still carried taco nachos, I could celebrate Christmas just as I did then... by watching Giant Bomb content and eating delicious, greasy fast food.
Good times.
Here are the rest of the cards:
And here is White Fluffy Kitty attacking the cards:
And here is White Fluffy Kitty making amends for attacking the cards by licking my hand:
You are forgiven, Fluffy.
The difficulty in obtaining the above image is testament to how large of a problem this really is.
Left 4 Dead is one of the greatest zombie games ever made. This isn't due to the awesome and addictive cooperative gameplay, but due to DEAD ZOMBIE BUTT. No Mercy - Chapter 4 is the best level out of the whole game for this simple reason.
It's silly to think that everybody will be fully dressed when they become infected, so why don't more zombie-themed games feature dead zombie butt? Is it because developers are too scared to feature nudity in their games? If so, that shouldn't be an issue. The following is a scanned image of the ESRB rating for Left 4 Dead:
Thanks for at least not putting a sticker over the ESRB rating, GameStop.
Notice anything missing? Exactly. Nowhere does it mention nudity, even though there are quite a few dead zombie butts in the game. Sure, showing a couple of buttcheeks is no longer a big deal nowadays. You see them all the time on TV, even in cartoons and such, but those shows don't get as graphic as Left 4 Dead. In Left 4 Dead, a slaughtered zombie can fall down and be positioned in all sorts of different ways, and on multiple occasions, I have killed the gown-wearing zombies in such a manner that they land with their ass up in the air, Johnny Sasaki-style, but this time, nothing is blurred out!
Like this, only deader.
Valve has always been a pioneer in the gaming industry, and dead zombie butt is no different. Hopefully in the future, other game developers will wise up and realize how excluding zombie nudity is detrimental to their games. I'm sure Left 4 Dead wouldn't have sold nearly as well if it omitted such an important addition. Left 4 Dead 2 did so well because Valve ignored the controversy and continued to feature an abundance of zombie upskirt. The Spitters even wear pink thongs! Truly, they are a master of their craft, and I would love to see other developers take things further.
Oddly arousing.
